holy fuck.
I missed like, the BIGGEST point in my introductory and insufficient run through of the desteni material:
this point of
“Your mind is thoughts, feelings, emotions. You are not your mind. If you experience yourself as thoughts, feelings, emotions- you are the manifestation of dishonesty.”
:o
holy fuck. I never went into that point in myself to really investigate it- I hit the blocks running as if my process was some kind of competition for aggrandizement- and from that starting point- believed that if I was thinking, or that if I reacted to my thoughts or my experiences with emotion- that I had failed. I would react emotionally to my thoughts and emotions, and then resist that, and try to ‘get away’ from it by ignoring it- which was deliberate deception.
thats like, total fuckin supression!
and deliberate... dishonesty
why god, why oh why, god, did I not apply the tools practically and effectively??
why did I hide??
why did I refuse to consider points unless they were in my self-interest??
forgive me, mother jesus!
